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Food

A definitive list of breakfast cereal ranked worst to best

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Ian Hunter Nov 27, 2018 12:05 pm 7,541

There is no simpler way to transport yourself back to your childhood than with a bowl of cereal.

There’s something nostalgic about pouring out that sugary goodness, drowning it with milk and sopping up the memories.

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Whether it’s for breakfast or a late-night snack, cereal is a staple in millions of Canadians diets. It’s cheap, it’s plentiful and it’s good.

Some cereals might be better than you remember. Others don’t hold up after all these years. And a few haven’t changed one bit. We’ll attempt to rank them from absolute best to worst breakfast cereals.

35. All-Bran

 

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Hell no.

34. Shredded Wheat

Only slightly better than All-Bran, still gets the same “hell no” reaction.

33. Fibre 1

Lots and lots of fibre. Little of anything else.

32. Muslix

“You like Muslix?” is almost always followed by, “You must be fun at parties.”

31. Corn Bran Squares

This is the frozen yogurt equivalent of breakfast cereals. It’s like Cap’n Crunch if it got its soul sucked out of it. What you’d be left with is Corn Bran Squares.

30. Special K

 

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Let’s be honest, there’s nothing “special” about Special K whatsoever. It used to be better a few years ago, but ever since they changed the recipe to become bigger, flatter flakes, Special K lost what little appeal it had in the first place. However, it seems like Special K was designed as a vehicle for fruit, so add a handful of berries and it rockets up the list exponentially.

29. Krave

One of the very few breakfast cereals with actual chocolate inside of it. It’s a brave concept but almost too sweet to eat first thing in the morning.

28. Vector

For those who like protein bars but want one in cereal form, this is for you.

27. Nesquik

 

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The first few bites of Nesquik are always great. But with each spoonful, you begin to wonder what you’ve done here. By the end, it’s just a chocolatey pool of sadness and regret.

26. Mini Wheats

Mini Wheats are a solid choice as a standalone snack. Where it runs into problems as a cereal is the wheats themselves are too large to get proper milk saturation. Which means you’re often left drinking a half-full bowl of milk at the end.

25. Cocoa Puffs

Very similar to Nesquik but slightly better.

24. Cookie Crisp

 

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In theory, eating a bowl of mini cookies sounds delicious. What they failed to tell you is Cookie Crisp tastes like a no-name version of chocolate chip cookies.

23. Just Right

If you’re on an eternal search to find something resembling the old Special K, you’ll find it with Just Right. But we’ll save you the hassle – it’s still not that great.

22. Rice Krispies

Hands up if you ever poured sugar on Rice Krispies as a kid? If that’s the case, that means it probably wasn’t a top 20 cereal in the first place.

21. Honey Bunches of Oats

This is Post’s poor man version of “Oatmeal Crisp.” It rides the fine line between healthy and sugary cereal.

20. Alpha-Bits

Alpha-Bits bring up so many fond memories of spelling things out in milk. This cereal is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

19. French Toast Crunch

 

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Crunchy as hell. The only thing you’ll hear when eating a bowl of this is a 100-decibel crunch. The cereal itself is okay, but a positive byproduct is the delicious milk byproduct that comes from French Toast Crunch.

18. Golden Grahams

On its own, Golden Grahams are kind of a one-note cereal. Then again, I guess most are, but these things feel like they’d be better utilized in some sort of sweet nuts ‘n bolts concoction.

17. Corn Flakes

Corn Flakes are one of the oldest cereals still in production today. This is the quintessential basic breakfast cereal, there’s nothing fancy about it, but it doesn’t pretend to be anything other than itself, which we can get behind.

16. Corn Pops

Corn Pops kind of have the grinding-your-gums thing going on, just like Cap’n Crunch. It’s less of an assault on your gums and the flavour is pretty similar, but a little less sweet.

15. Honeycomb

 

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Sweet, light and airy honeycomb. Those characteristics made it easy to consume a whole salad bowl of Honeycomb in one sitting. What, you never did that?

14. Oatmeal Crisp

Props to Oatmeal Crisp for bringing the texture game, here. There’s a lot going on a bowl of this cereal.

13. Shreddies

 

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Call them squares, call them diamonds, Shreddies are one of the few breakfast cereals that parents can feel okay about giving their kids in the morning. In a way, it has a bran-like quality, but the fun shape makes it less dull for kids.

12. Raisin Bran

This is one of the few cereals that makes it seem like you’re doing something good for your health when in actuality, you’re better off grabbing a sugar-laden cereal instead.

11. Life

Life is the very close cousin of Shreddies and it’s the slightly more appealing option in the cereal aisle.

10. Crispix

 

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The Crispix is the lovechild of a cornflake and a rice crispy on steroids fused together. Together, it’s a damn good cereal. The only drawback is you have to eat Crispix at light speed to avoid the cereal getting soggy.

9. Sugar Crisp

With some of these cereals, it doesn’t feel like you’re eating a bowl of sugar. That’s not the case with Sugar Crisp. It’s downright sweet and make no mistake, your teeth will hurt if you consume a giant bowl of it.

8. Froot Loops

Not as vibrant in colour as they once were, Froot Loops are still one of the brightest ways to start your morning. There’s nearly no semblance of fruit in these whatsoever, but it almost doesn’t even matter.

7. Lucky Charms

 

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The true measure of a great cereal is its ability to stand up on its own, sans milk. Lucky Charms are one of the few cereals on this list that might actually be better without any added liquid.

6. Blueberry Chex

Just like Cheerios, there are endless flavours of Chex. By far, two of the best are blueberry and cinnamon. Dare I say the cinnamon Chex rival, Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Blueberry Chex are pretty stellar.

5. Frosted Flakes

 

 

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The Kellogg’s folks had an epiphany when they realized what kids were doing already: sugar-coating Corn Flakes. With Frosted Flakes, they did hard work for us.

4. Honey Nut Cheerios

 

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Of the many Cheerios varieties available, the Honey Nut version is by far the best of the bunch. Not really nutty, more honey than anything. It’s easy to kill a bowl or two without even thinking about it.

3. Cap’N Crunch

 

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Sure, the ruggedness of Cap’N Crunch makes you feel like you’re eating a mouthful of diamonds, but it’s worth the mild pain for the sugary payoff. The multi-boxes of these are known to last only a few days any house with children or those with a sweet tooth.

2. Reese’s Puffs

 

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The beauty of this cereal is the perfect marriage of the chocolate and peanut butter puffs. If it was just a box of strictly chocolate or peanut butter puffs, it wouldn’t work. But just like like the beloved peanut butter cup itself, the cereal works because it’s the best of both worlds – the sort-of-salty peanut butter and the sweet chocolate.

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

 

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If angels sprinkled pixie dust on breakfast cereal it would be Cinnamon Toast Crunch. A bad word has never been uttered about Cinnamon Toast Crunch because it’s the perfect cereal specimen. When the milk swirls with the cinnamon sugar, it creates liquid gold. It’s one of the very rare instances where the cereal is actually better than you remember as a kid. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is pure bliss in bowl.

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Ian Hunter
Toronto Blue Jays blogger and writer, GIF maker, baseball moustache aficionado, runner, beer admirer, proud dad.

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